Tired?

05 Jun 2006

The word tired quite simply isn’t a big enough word to describe how I feel right now. Exhausted barely even scratches the surface.

I think I may suffer from an as yet undiagnosed disease that I will dub Awakeaholism. So let me start by saying, “Hi. I’m Sean. I’m an Awakeaholic. It’s been… I’m not sure how long since I’ve had a good night’s rest.”

You see, I’m awake a lot. Even when I don’t want to be. I have no real control over it. Sometimes I just can’t stop being awake for extended periods of time.

Take last night as a perfect example. Around 10pm I started thinking “Gee, I should go to bed and get a good night’s sleep to start the week with.” Then I watched the hours tick by. 11pm. Midnight. 1am. 2am. 3am. 4am. Around 4:30am I went to sleep. My last thought was “insert explitive of choice tomorrow is going to be hell.”

So what happened next? I woke up just after 6am (just a little before my alarm). I’ve been up ever since. Even when I “woke up” I wasn’t tired. All day since then though, I have been tired. Not the kind of tired where you can sleep though. I know tonight I’ll go home, beyond exhausted as I am, and still not be able to sleep. The later the night continues, the more awake and alert I’ll become.

Time to go home for the day I think. Maybe I’ll just go straight to bed and see what happens.